We're going to boat.

On Saturday Greg and I voted in the state election.  When we told Maya that we were going to vote she was oddly excited.  Then afterwards she was upset because when we said "vote" she heard "boat". 

And where was that boat we had mentioned?!

Trying to explain that we said "vote" and not "boat" was impossible.

"We said vote", we said.
"Yes boat", she said.
"Vvvvvvvvvv ote", we said.
"Boat", she said.

And it's not just the word vote.

The other day she asked me what something was.  "It's a cable", I replied.  "Oh and this is a table too", she explained, pointing to our table.

How do you distinguish between two words that sound similar and obviously sound the same to her?

Introduction to swimming.

Last year I enrolled Maya in swim lessons.  She was about eight months old and I'd heard somewhere that the earlier you introduce babies to swimming the less fearful they would be of the water.

At our first lesson Maya clung to me.  She was terrified of the pool.  My instinct was to introduce her slowly to the water.  But the swim instructor believed, quite vocally, that babies needed to be pushed into swimming concepts as quickly as possible in order for them to become comfortable in the water as soon as possible.  His methods only made Maya even more fearful of the water.  She would cry throughout the lesson.  Maya didn't enjoy the lessons and neither did I.  I ended the lessons early.

Recently, I decided to try swim lessons again, but at a different swim school.  I found a centre that offered a refund if  you are not happy with their lessons and thought it was a safe bet to try.

Our first lesson I had to drag Maya into the water with me.  She fought hard not to go in.  But I kept her close to me.  This instructor could see that Maya needed to be close to me and structured the lesson accordingly.  She introduced fun tasks for all the children to complete and while Maya stayed close by my side, she really enjoyed the activities.  At the end of the class I had to drag her back out of the pool.  She wanted to stay!  It was a fun lesson and the children were not forced to do things they weren't comfortable with.

Maya now LOVES swimming.  Each week she gets more and more confident to try new things.  And there have even been a couple of moments were she has swum briefly all on her own.

There are still things she does not like to do but she is never forced to do them.  Instead she is encouraged to give them a go to the best of her ability.  This way she usually has a go and each week she gets more comfortable with the tasks.

Swimming lessons are now my favourite time of the week.  And I think Maya feels the exact same way.

Maya singing Twinkle Star.

The fear.

Nearly eleven years ago my father had hip replacement surgery.  Prior to the operation he'd been in a lot of pain and the operation gave him a new lease on life.  He went home from hospital feeling good and happy and able to do things he was unable to do prior to surgery. 

And then he dropped dead.  From deep vein thrombosis.  Caused by the surgery he'd just had.

Tomorrow my mother goes in for surgery to remove her bladder.  And it is major surgery.  A long operation.  With risks.

It is hard not to be freaking out right now.

Mother's guilt.

With Maya's constant illnesses and endless ear infections I find myself feeling guilty for placing her in child care, where she is exposed to all these illnesses. Prior to commencing child care she was rarely sick.  Am I being selfish for putting myself and my career first?

I must admit I no longer enjoy my job as I did at the start of the year.  And it is no longer the escape and me time I sought.  It is work.  And the long travel (since moving it now takes me about an hour and a half to get there) is taking its toll.  But I do still enjoy the adult interaction at work and the time off from the constant care of a toddler.  And I can't see myself returning to be a full time carer of Maya.

It took Maya a very long time to settle into child care.  But she now enjoys being there.  She loves the staff, loves the activities and has even made a friend.  She has also been exposed to things I would never have thought of doing with her or can't do with her.  Like recently she learnt about ambulances and got to look inside one.  And they taught her to clean up after herself long before I would have thought to do that.  I've been told that Maya often leads the other children and their activities and creates games to play.

Yet I still feel guilty that she is sick so often.  I could protect her from these diseases if she was home with me.

Or maybe she wouldn't get sick so often if I was still able to breast feed her.  I know that breast feeding reduces the possibility of ear infections.  If it wasn't for Meniere's Disease I might still be breast feeding today and with the anti-bodies in breast milk maybe Maya wouldn't be sick all the time?

I know that feeling guilty doesn't help anything or anyone.  But it often seems that guilt is synonymous with being a mother.

Glue ear.

As mentioned in my previous post, this year has been marred by constant illnesses.  And with these illnesses Maya has developed a lot of ear infections.  And with these ear infections Maya has developed glue ear. Her GP eventually suggested I take her to an ear specialist whom we finally saw last week after a two month wait. 

Before her appointment she had a hearing assessment which showed that the glue ears are affecting her hearing.  Which to me is such a scary thing to hear, given I have permanent hearing loss. 

I was expecting the specilist to adopt a wait and see approach, especially given we are now in Spring and soon to enter Summer, when illnesses should lessen (I hope!).  But the specialist immediately suggested Maya have grommets placed in her ears.

While I hear stories of children who drastically improved once grommets are in place, both in hearing and behaviour, and it is the most common procedure performed, I cannot help but feel that waiting to see if things improve naturally would be a better course of action than to go straight to a surgical procedure.

So for now we are going to wait and see and I have a second specialist booked in for December (a four month wait) whom I will see for a second opinion.